So first I'm going to start with a little update on my weight before I get into the blog.
So last time I blogged, I had got back from 2 weeks in Orlando with a little extra baggage! (9lbs).
While I am definitely not hard on myself anymore for gaining weight, and feel zero food guilt for eating 'bad' foods, I knew that I wanted to activate full 'weight-loss' mode since getting back from Orlando up until Christmas.
I thought this was a good stretch of time to at least make a good start on making my way to target as my target weight of 12 stone is actually not too far away now!
So since getting back, I have managed to lose 5lbs of that gain and my current weight is 13 stone 5.5lbs.
While I know it does seem ambitious, I decided to set my Christmas wish this year to get to target, which means as of right now I have 7 weigh-ins to lose 1 stone 5.5lbs. I set this wish as something for me to aim for. If I don't get there, it will only be a matter of time.
So right now, I'm trying my best to stay as 'on plan' as possible (while still enjoying cooking healthy yet delicious food and enjoying treats in moderation!).
I'm feeling confident that I'll at least be in the 12 stone bracket by the time Christmas comes... but if I'm at my target weight of exactly 12 stone, of course this means I can celebrate Christmas in style, knowing that I've actually done it!
Anyway... let's get into the title of this blog post...
It's not really something I ever seen myself doing, but last week I cancelled my gym membership and decided to have a break. at least until after Christmas/until I hit target weight.
It's something I hadn't considered until a few weeks ago when I was at the gym and thought 'I am not enjoying this.'
I have always been pretty inconsistent as far as a gym schedule, e.g. one week I'd go 3 times, the next just once, the week after not at all etc.
I did somewhat enjoy the exercise, but mostly I just enjoyed how it made me feel afterwards.
For a few months (at least), I had got into this pattern of not going to the gym as many times as I told myself that I 'should' have been going, feeling really guilty about it, not having the motivation to actually go, and then feeling even more guilty about that.
I know... it sounds crazy doesn't it? If I'm honest, I didn't even realise I was putting all of this pressure on myself until that time a few weeks ago, when I was at the gym and I had the realisation that I probably feared what everybody else would think about me not going to the gym, and that I was some sort of failure if I didn't exercise alongside eating healthily.
Well, at that point I realised just how much the whole exercise expectation thing was really getting in my head. Although I love social media, particularly Instagram for documenting my journey, I felt seeing people work out 5+ times a week was actually having such a negative effect on me when I looked at how little I was doing.
So... just after that, I emailed my gym to cancel my membership! Just like that. It really wasn't the massive life-changing thing that I'd built it up in my head to be.
The thing is as well, just because I don't have a membership, it doesn't mean I can't still exercise. The difference being that if I was to go for a walk/run for half an hour, or pay into my gym to go for a swim, I'm doing it because I want to do it.
My friend also helped me realise this, as her blog post that she wrote back in July was still fresh in my mind the entire time, and I realised that her thoughts on wanting to do something vs needing to do it were absolutely relevant to my whole gym situation! (her blog is fantastic so you should definitely check her out!)
So basically, that's it. So far I've enjoyed just focussing on cooking healthy food and staying on plan, and not feeling like I'm the worst person in the world for not going to the gym.
I absolutely understand the benefits of exercise, and while I'll be doing bits and bobs from now until I re-activate my gym membership, I'm happy in the knowledge that this is the right thing for me at this present moment, and ultimately that's the most important thing.
Follow me on Instagram/Twitter: @justaslimmer
- Melissa. x